People sometimes ask me, "How do you do it all?" This question is usually met with a blank stare. I guess that is because I don't feel that the "all" I do is done very well. My house is rarely clean; I am hardly ever on time; I cross out very few items on my to-do list each day while leaving many tasks undone; and when I do work, it is usually with frantic stress because I wasted too much time doing something else first. Worst of all, I don't spend enough time praying even though I know it is the one thing I need most to if I hope to accomplish any of the "all" I need to do.
Some people seem to look at my life and see a happily married, successful woman who works out, has three great boys, home-schools, runs a home-based business that has grown well beyond replacing the income she made working full-time outside the home, drives a white Mercedes courtesy of her company, and even manages to make dinner most nights. On the surface, all those things are completely true about me. Yet I am also moody and the worst procrastinator I know. I get irritable and remind myself of my 2-year-old when I don't get my way, except the kicking and screaming is mostly on the inside for me. I have regrets at the end of just about every single day I live and therefore wear guilt as my favorite accessory. (It goes with every outfit!) I have such bigger dreams and hopes for my life: I need to be a better wife and mom; I long to become a writer again; I would like our family to excel in homeschooling; I hope to spend much of my life doing and supporting mission work in Africa; and I want my business to grow so successful that I not only provide for my family but also help others do the same. Besides all of that, I want to help give hungry people food, orphaned children homes, sick people the care they need, and everyone the hope and life I have been given in Jesus.
So how do I "do it all?" I fumble along, actually doing very little. At the end of the day, if anything has gone well, I know it is by the grace of God. I can do "all things" through Jesus Christ who gives me strength, and only as His strength is made perfect through my weakness does my "all" become enough. I am frail, foolish, hopelessly flawed, and insignificant, but my heavenly Father sees my potential and helps me redeem the time I have wasted so that He can use me. In the end, that is what matters to me. I want Him to be glorified. I don't want the spotlight to be on me. I have nothing to offer -- no great wisdom, no inspiring thoughts to share. But God inspires me every day, and if by expressing the words in my heart I can grow closer to Him, then my Web site and blog will be successful. If He chooses to use me, I am willing -- so long as He receives the glory.