Every once in awhile I meet a couple who is just killing it in their network marketing business: working together seemingly without a hitch, taking on their prospective roles, filling in for each other when necessary, and doing everything side by side, from housework and child-rearing to teaching classes and launching new business builders. They appear to have it all together almost magically. Everyone wants to know what their secret is. More often than not, they got the vision for the business around the same time and started working it together relatively early, if not from day one. That isn't the norm, as you may have guessed.
Most of the time, one person becomes interested in (OK, obsessed with) the product and enamored with the business opportunity while the other person is hesitant and skeptical at best, resentful and unsupportive at worst. (For the sake of simplicity, let's just say that the obsessed maniac is the wife, while the well-meaning critic is the husband, although roles could just as easily be reversed.) If the resistant party does come around (usually right about the time when the "expensive hobby" becomes a "real business" that is making an actual profit), the initiator is far ahead in her product knowledge, teaching experience, and understanding of the business and compensation plan. The spouse may have a growing interest but be unsure of how to express it, or even a desire to help with the business but no idea how to do so.
If you feel like you've lost your spouse to their newfound MLM love and wonder if your life will ever be the same, perhaps you should consider instead how you can be a part of her new obsession. May I suggest that you embrace the business and even become helpful, encouraging, and supportive?
And if you're sure your husband will never understand, won't take an interest in your business, and certainly can't be a part of it, perhaps you should consider inviting him to participate. May I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart conversation, express your dreams and desire for support, and even ask for help?
In other words, the MLM business should not drive a wedge between the two of you. I have yet to see any wedding vows that state, "until network marketing do us part." I'm here to tell you that if you're struggling to believe a network marketing business can fit into your marriage, there is hope.
I've seen several couples on my dōTERRA team learn how to utilize their individual strengths, overcome insecurities about working together, and exponentially increase their reach and effectiveness by figuring out how to create a partnership in this business. Talking to them and attending seminars where successful couples have discussed their working relationship has helped me formulate a list of ideas to help others, too. I also have a bit of my own experience since my husband and I have found a rhythm in how he can help me in the business. We have been living on the road in an RV with our 3 children for the past 16 months thanks to my dōTERRA business, which means we've had to learn how to work, raise and educate our children, travel for business and pleasure, and do almost everything together more than ever before. (Living the dream is a beautiful, but sometimes messy, thing!) We're a work in progress, but we are progressing.
Before you tackle the following ideas like a to-do list or instruction guide, though, you should know that this list is neither. You'll need to pick and choose what will work, maybe figuring it out through trial and error even, and modify the ideas to fit your strengths and personalities. Consider this wise advice from my friend and upline business mentor Tanya Cotterell: "Either he can take on the bookkeeping aspect, the household help, or assistant type work (which can create not-so-great dynamics), or he can choose to become a professional network marketer himself and dive into the wellness advocate role -- sharing, teaching, and all. Be very patient and let him figure out what he wants. It has to be his own process."
If you think you're ready to take each other by the hand and partner in this venture, whether you're just at the beginning or one of you has been working the business for years already, I believe you'll benefit from this list of ideas. Maybe some will work for you, and maybe none of them will, but at the very least, they should provide some food for thought and discussion to help get the ball rolling.
Ideas for Spouse Involvement/Teamwork
Help with housework/children/other responsibilities you can share.
Give each other space to do meetings and classes without guilt.
Go to meetings/classes together when feasible.
If you're coming on board later in the game, consider building your own leg on the team.
Know your individual personalities and strengths (idea person/visionary, behind-the-scenes assistant, teacher, outgoing/sales type, planner/administrator).
Recognize your strengths and learn how they will benefit the business; then support each other.
Ask for help where you recognize weaknesses in yourself.
Hire others to do things that aren't strengths for either of you.
Put your marriage/relationship first.
Attend live and online trainings together.
Set goals and keep each other accountable to them.
One person may want to focus on product while the other focuses on business/strategy.
Start an oil support group for your social circle, or invite your contacts to your team's existing groups.
Host your own Facebook class to reach out to your contacts.
Invite your contacts to a class centered around your work/family/friends/etc.
Share responsibilities of making new contacts, teaching classes, follow-up, social media marketing, and team training, or divide these tasks according to strengths.
Volunteer for behind-the-scenes tasks: paperwork, product ordering, tracking inventory, event planning, checking back office, e-mail newsletters, incentives, etc.
Build each other up. Celebrate success together.
Be up front about how you need help.
Don't treat the other person like an assistant (unless that's what he or she wants to be/do).
Remember: Your spouse/partner doesn't have to be involved the way others are (and probably won't want to be involved exactly as anyone else is).
Bonus tip: Get the whole family involved! If you have kids, set family goals, and have the kids help with samples/stickers/organizing/meetings/etc.
I feel I would be remiss not to mention that it's perfectly OK just to be supportive and not actually do the business together. Perhaps your spouse already has a career he loves and doesn't want to walk away from it. Maybe he won't ever be a natural network marketer. (Maybe you don't even have a spouse but have read this far to equip yourself to guide the couples on your team or simply out of curiosity.) In any case, you may become envious of couples who seem to accomplish so much more because they work together. Keep in mind that most individuals build their network marketing businesses to a high level of success all by themselves in 10-20 hours per week. Don't try to fit yourself or your spouse into a particular mold. Instead, I recommend that you embrace the ways you can work together, accept the ways you can't, and don't give up -- on yourself, on your business, or on your marriage.
How have you found ways to win as a team in your marriage and business? Let's talk about it!