I didn't send out Christmas cards or write a Christmas newsletter for 2012. I vacillated between feeling liberated from spending the time and money required to send out a few hundred holiday greetings and feeling guilty for not participating in a tradition I actually enjoy. Of course, if I limited my list to close friends, family, and the people who send Christmas cards to my family, this creative custom would not have become such a burden to me in the first place, but a few years ago I thought it would be a good idea to send a card to every distant family member I have, every long-lost friend I could find, and every Arbonne client I have accumulated in now 8 years of business. Hence the few hundred people, and the ensuing love-hate relationship I developed.
The beautiful cards I received in 2012
Let's face it: I am an all-or-nothing person. I either compulsively obsess about a matter or check myself out altogether. Since simplifying my life and being fully present in every task and every moment became two of my most significant goals for 2012, I ditched the Christmas cards. To make sure that I wouldn't change my mind in a rash decision fueled by regret, I didn't even open many of the cards I received until I was sure it would be too late to pull together a family picture, designing and printing cards, and sitting down to write a newsletter. Finally, on January 2nd I sat down with the stack of cards and letters and pictures and looked at each one carefully. I loved every minute of studying the faces of my family's and friends' growing children, reading about the highs and lows in the lives of others, rejoicing in the good news shared, grieving in the losses conveyed, and remembering again why we celebrate the season.
I kept our Christmas simple as I had promised myself I would, and I know my children will look back and remember making Christmas cookies, picking out one special gift for each other, making Christmas cards for their grandparents, and using our Christmas break from school to catch up with many friends via play dates galore. They won't remember Mom running around like crazy, trying to get the perfect family photo and pen the perfect words and stuff stacks and stacks of envelopes full of fluff that would end up in recycling bins across the country.
For those who missed a recap of the year (and I know you are few), I am going to cover the highlights. Why now, on January 3rd, bother to do this if I can't put it in a pretty newsletter template and either mail or e-mail it? Because there is one aspect of the newsletter I really did miss: the time for reflection. I'm not as much into New Year's resolutions as I am about taking time reflect periodically. It helps me gain perspective and recognize areas where I need to change and want to grow. I find myself making little resolutions on a weekly or at least monthly basis as I reflect on what kind of mom, wife, friend, leader, and Christian I have been and ask the Lord to help me become better for His glory.
So here it goes, by month:
My boys and their Texan cousins
January - We started off the new year with sadness that our Christmas with my parents, who had come to visit from Montana, was over. We loved having them and made many memories to cherish. We didn't have a lot of time to think about it, though, because as soon as they left we began packing for a trip to Texas to visit Dave's family, hauling with us a trailer we would use to bring back a piano and a large toolbox loaded with tools Dave could use at work. Some very gracious friends loaned us their Tahoe for the trip, and we drove straight through, 20 hours to Dave's parents' house, then another 5 hours to where his brother and sister live a couple of days later. It was a fast, furious, and fun jaunt across the country. Have we used the piano? I am happy to say that we started a program in the fall and my six-year-old now has a little repertoire of short songs he can play by heart. Dave has also used the tools, but more importantly, our kids got to see their cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents - a rare treat since we live far from all our family.
Right before the Lego cake got destroyed
February - We celebrate two birthdays in February, my husband's and my oldest son's. After the holiday craziness and settling into a new year, we enjoy having those two special events on the horizon. Liam opted to have a friend stay over rather than have a big party. We took him to the science center that day, and in the afternoon his friend came over. They had a blast playing the Wii and Liam's DS, destroying the Lego birthday cake, opening presents, and staying up way too late talking on Liam's top bunk bed. (I actually didn't know boys might do that . . .)
Blowing out the candles on his Thomas the Train cake
March- We have two more big celebrations in March: The birthday of our youngest, soon followed by our wedding anniversary. We chose a small family party for 2-year-old Cuinn, but his grandparents in Montana participated in watching him blow out his candles (they even sang) and open his presents via Skype. If we have to be far from family, we can be thankful that it is in this day and age when technology helps us feel closer. And speaking of family, we were all excited to get a visit from Dave's mom in March. She always spoils the kids and helps around the house and takes us on some fun outings, so we planned our spring break around her visit. We celebrated our anniversary as usual, with a babysitter and a nice dinner out. I have a feeling we may celebrate our 15th a bit bigger in 2013. Stay tuned!
Doing a dry run with the tent in the back yard
April - My birthday falls at the end of our spring birthday madness, and it was quickly followed by a trip to Las Vegas for my company's annual convention. Naturally April is one of my favorite months, but not just because it is when I was born. Usually the spring allergies have passed, and we can enjoy the beautiful outdoors of North Carolina with park play dates and picnics and an end in sight for our school year, which is starting to feel a tad bit long by this point. Quite often April is also when we celebrate Easter, and for us Easter marked another new beginning in 2012 as on Good Friday we discovered a little ministry with a big vision. We started attending Cre8's worship services that weekend and never stopped. It has been so much more than what is normally conveyed in the word "church," at least for us. It has been a community that truly strives to be a place where all members of the family can grow, struggle, and learn together through the ups and downs of real life, and for many it is a refuge where they can escape the judgmental criticism or sideways glances others have offered and find healing, hope, joy, love, and acceptance for who they are, no matter where they are in life. We are thankful that a friend who knew we were looking for something more along the lines of a home church recommended Cre8 to us. I am also thrilled that they tolerate me playing my flute with the worship music. That is something I hadn't done on a regular basis in many years, and I truly missed it.
All bundled up on our first camping trip
May- We finished the first grade with my oldest son! We are so proud of his dedication to his school work and rejoice that he loves to learn. We also embarked on our very first family camping trip, an adventure for which my husband had planned and saved and strategized for months. We splashed in the creek and listened to its bubbling music as we fell asleep at night. We took a walk in oversized parkas in the rain and stared at the campfire all evening. We played games and ate camp food (including some almost-gourmet meals cooked in foil). Dave planned every detail, and the rest of us went along for the ride to the mountains. Our first campout memories stand out as some of the best in our lives.
June - What's June for but swimming, playing, loving summer break, and Vacation Bible School? Enough said.
Aedan the fireman for a day
July- Our middle child lives up to it, right down to having his birthday in a different season from the rest of the family. (Even the dog's birthday is in March.) This was his fourth birthday, and I wanted to make it special. It started with a quick visit from Dave's parents who were in D.C. for work-related meetings. Grama happened to be here on Aedan's birthday, and he asked to go to Chuck E. Cheese. He also loves fire trucks and firemen, so a few days later we had a fire truck party at a park right next to a fire station, which we got to tour after cake and snacks and playing on the playground for a bit. The kids even got to spray a real fire hose, which was definitely the climactic moment for most of them. Aedan also became a "Little Ninja" upon turning 4. He had been looking forward to joining his brother in the martial arts program at Fitness One for months, and although he was nervous at first, he has followed in Liam's footsteps and loves his class. Basically, in July Aedan got to feel really special as the center of attention, and my guilt and fears about his middle-child syndrome were assuaged for at least the rest of the month.
August - As the summer break came to a close, we dove back into schoolwork. Liam started second grade, and Aedan began a slightly more intentional round of preschool-style learning. We began weekly LIFE classes with a wonderful homeschool co-op. Liam took classes focusing on sports fundamentals, Colonial America, and words/writing, and Aedan took a preschool class followed by joining his little brother in the nursery for the last hour. I also began teaching some of the LIFE classes, which I christened "Wordsmiths" to focus on developing a love for words, writing, grammar, and oral presentation. I taught two classes for elementary-aged students, and in a couple of weeks I will add a third class for Aedan and some of his peers to work on phonics and early reading. The experience has been a lot of fun and at times a good challenge for me, and I look forward to continuing to teach. I love the huge variety of classes offered to my children as they are very enriching and give our kids the chance to learn exciting new things with other children once a week. It is a great change of pace from the rest of our regular homeschool week.
September - None of us can remember much about September, so it must have been a blur of schoolwork, Arbonne parties for me, and airplanes for my husband.
This trip came at the perfect time since Liam was taking a Colonial America class with our homeschool co-op.
October - This is another one of those really memorable months, which is probably why September got lost in the mix. It started with Dave and Cuinn's trip to Texas for the funeral of Dave's grandfather, who lived a full life for 90 years. We wished we all could go, but that wasn't feasible, so those of us who stayed behind had some special field trips and play dates to take the focus off the fact that Cuinn was playing with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Later in the month, my mom came from Montana and we took a fall break/field trip to Williamsburg, Virginia where we all fell in love with the sights, sounds, tastes, and delightful experiences of Colonial Williamsburg. We didn't make it to Jamestown or Yorktown on this trip, but you're sure to hear about future excursions to this fantastic destination, especially since we can take advantage of "homeschool days" with drastically lowered admission rates and extra educational opportunities. Best of all was being able to share this journey with my mom, who stayed for two weeks. Her departure was met with tears all around since visits with my parents are so few and far between.
"Cre8ing" Thanksgiving memories
November - The two best books I read this year, other than the Bible, were Kisses from Katie and One Thousand Gifts. In their own ways, each of these books inspired me to make November my "thankful month" with 30 days of giving thanks and posting my reasons for thanksgiving on Facebook each day. I stopped every day to dwell on the good things, the blessings, the grace scattered all throughout my days, and as I gathered reasons to praise I reaped pure joy and uplifted faith. We spent Thanksgiving at the Cre8 home with our church family. November also marked the beginning of a big change for Dave, and therefore our whole family. The story itself is one of God's grace and provision at exactly the right time. Dave had been working pretty contentedly for three years as an independent aircraft mechanic, and although there were busy seasons and slow seasons, everything just worked out in the end. This winter was going to be his slowest season in a couple of years, and about the time we were realizing that fact, he miraculously landed a job interview he wasn't really looking for. During the previous few years we had known he was right where he was supposed to be, and we both sensed that was about to change. It all happened rather quickly, and within about a month he was starting his new job as Test Flight Coordinator (basically project manager for test flights) at Honda Jet in Greensboro. He lengthened his work day by a handful of hours but shortened his daily commute by an hour and a half, and although the job is very demanding and comes with a lot of stressful challenges, so far he does think he will enjoy it once he learns the ropes. We thank God for how He has provided for our family through the years while also making sure our faith is in Him and not in any company, business, or job.
Happy birthday, Jesus!
December - What I did right: tried to simplify; focused on Advent; reminded my kids daily that Christmas is about Jesus and salvation and giving and not about receiving; organized a gift-giving and car repair for a single mom and her family; and somehow did a handful of spa parties while also coordinating orders and deliveries for my big "client appreciation" sale. What I will do differently next year: I will stop the homeschool madness earlier in the month so we can focus on giving even more, making some gifts for friends and family before the month gets away from us. And I will do some type of Christmas card and/or newsletter, maybe just online for the majority of my list . . . and I will start planning this early as well. We did have a lovely holiday together, with a nice break for Dave (although he spent part of it working on airplanes with his recently former employer). We brought in the new year quietly, and now we are off and running again, with Arbonne meetings and parties and a heavy workload for Dave, soon to be reconvening homeschool and LIFE classes.
As I said, these are the highlights of the year, but we have had some lows: lean times, a funeral, some serious and chronic health issues in our families, and of course all the messiness that goes along with raising three boys who are fun and busy and learning why they must share, how to behave, what is acceptable, and how dangerous it is to push Mommy's and Daddy's buttons! Overall, though, I know we are blessed and God is good. He is love, and all is grace.
Happy 2013!
P.S. I do have a few small resolutions for 2013: Continue to simplify, live fully present in every God-given moment, grow in His grace, potty-train my youngest, get my house organized, and try to blog once a week-ish. Or at least once a month. :-) See you soon!